


That Still Sort of Quiet

by TeenCaterpillar



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Mama Stilinski Feels, Stiles Feels, only a few
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 06:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/770936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeenCaterpillar/pseuds/TeenCaterpillar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's always there, buzzing in him.  An energy that never goes away.  But sometimes, just sometimes, it quiets and Stiles finally feels ok.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Still Sort of Quiet

His body always thrummed with energy, tapping, wiggling, fiddling.  His mind was a swirl of emotions and thoughts; a never ending noise and background sound that would rise and swell or shrink and wither during the day.  But it was always there.  Always.  A throbbing in his mind, body, and soul that would never leave and left him feeling drained every time he went to bed.  It followed him into his dreams, subdued and hard to hear, but a persistent annoying hum that left him restless.  It jarred his focus and wore him out until he couldn’t think about anything but the hammering in his head, the incessant whispers and screams that kept him from being still.  An energy that demanded release.  He would ramble when necessary, though movement relieved enough energy to let him get at least the notes he needed for his school work.  The medication helped as well and he found himself relying on it more and more as time passed.  As more and more creatures popped up, demanding attention, blood, and time, he found himself popping an extra pill or two.  He tried to keep his reliance on the medication something in his control, but it was slowly getting out of hand.  The energy was getting used to the medication and it would swell around the lid the meds tried to place over it, burning with the desire to do _something_.  So he focused on research.  He focused on Lydia.  He focused on anything.  And it worked as well as it could.

 

Over all, Stiles had it under control.

 

But there were still days when it got out of hand; when it consumed him.  It was like a fire that he couldn’t put out, only ignite and fuel.  A fire that came with a rage, a hatred for himself, his friends, his life that had been so unceremoniously uprooted when some psychopathic werewolf bit his best friend.  The noise got so loud he couldn’t block it out.  When everything was too much and he wanted to scream and curl into a ball and just have it all go away.  His body felt weak and his mind felt like a brick that slammed against his skull, demanding escape.  The fire in him would grow and grow, lashing out at his friends and his father, people he loved and wanted to protect.  It knew who to attack and where to attack.  It knew how to control him and just when he would think it couldn’t get any worse, when it couldn’t get any louder, when it couldn’t burn anymore: it would all wash away, leaving a peaceful quiet.  Not silence.  Never silence.  But a relaxing quiet that reminded him of his mother.  How she would take him on walks where all they would do was listen to the world around them.  How she would read books with him, laying as close to him as possible so they could both see the page.  How she would watch the clouds with him in the backyard, the warm summer breeze keeping them comfortable under the sun, the grass tickling his skin.  A quiet that wrapped around him, blocking out all the harsh noises of life and softening the energy inside him.  Nothing could reach him.  Nothing could hurt him.  Nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is lyrics from Quiet, a song in Matilda: the Musical.


End file.
